Monday to Friday
By Appointment Only
Call us:
(954) 762-9199
e-mail:
info@shirleymalove.com
I am a psychotherapist with more than 30 years of experience helping those who are looking to find greater happiness and fulfillment in life.
People decide to begin psychotherapy for many different reasons. Some seek therapy because they have an overall feeling of dissatisfaction—a gnawing sense of emptiness, that something is missing or wrong—yet they have been unable to identify the source of the trouble.
If you are struggling with issues that are confusing and troubling, psychotherapy can help. It can give you access to parts of your mind that are blocked or unclear and, as a result, render you unable to know and understand yourself.
Discussing your issues with a psychotherapist can help you recognize and comprehend the meaning of recurring themes that wreak havoc in your life and the underlying reasons they occur in the first place.
Psychotherapy can provide the enduring change you are seeking and allow you to live your life in ways you never imagined.
Every person has a life story that is highly significant and has shaped who and where they are today. Each patient with whom I work in psychotherapy is a unique individual struggling with challenging issues. Many have endured traumatic relationships and situations and are unable to discuss these experiences without the safety of the therapeutic relationship. The strength and resiliency they have demonstrated in their lives is truly remarkable.
While there are different modalities of psychotherapy, the approach that I follow is psychodynamic or psychoanalytic psychotherapy. This method is not based on the idea of being told how to solve ones struggles. It is not about “moving on” or “letting something go” as many people have been told to do in their lives. When certain feelings are viewed as unacceptable and not productive, the wish is to rid one’s self of them by “letting them go.” In fact, when one attempts to do this before they are ready, “moving on” or “letting go” doesn’t actually occur.
What essentially happens is that the mind is told not to think about what is distressing, which then leads a person to block out or hold in these feelings. Accordingly, one’s mind has to then work very hard not to acknowledge thoughts and feelings that are connected to the distress. That kind of mental workout takes a toll. Over time, the feelings one’s mind has worked so hard to repress may emerge in other ways through self-destructive behaviors, passive/aggressive behavior, anxiety, obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors, depression, overwhelming fear, unexpected angry outbursts… The list goes on and on.
Like a tea kettle with a tight lid, when the heat builds up—so does the internal pressure—and it seeks release. As human beings, we feel what we feel. Trying not to feel is like saying “don’t breathe.” Just because you say it, doesn’t mean you can do it for long. Similarly, we can’t control our feelings, but we can control our actions in response to these feelings.
An individual’s level of functioning in life and in interpersonal relationships are impacted not only by recent events but also by early life attachment figures and experiences. These early experiences with important others are internalized and unconsciously repeated in the present. Psychodynamic psychotherapy recognizes the importance of understanding how the past provides important insights into present day emotional difficulties.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a process where both patient and therapist work together to determine the underlying root of troubling issues. Research has shown that a good fit between patient and therapist is the most important indicator of a successful psychotherapy experience. It takes understanding and acceptance to build the foundation to do the work of psychodynamic psychotherapy. A warm, attuned, non-judgmental psychotherapist provides a safe place in which to explore with great freedom one’s thoughts and feelings.
Although it is different from any other kind of relationship, the therapeutic relationship provides an environment for this exploration that no other relationship can offer. In fact, the patient’s interpersonal patterns of relating will inevitably surface in the therapy relationship, thus providing a safe place to understand and rework in real time the troublesome issues. The therapeutic relationship is made safe through the structure of the therapeutic frame by establishing clear boundaries around the therapy such as length and frequency of appointments, confidentiality and privacy. These boundaries help to create a safe environment within which the process will unfold.
Making that initial call to a therapist is not easy. Deciding to begin therapy requires one to look at and reveal deeply personal thoughts and feelings, perhaps for the first time ever.
I am happy to speak with you and answer any questions you may have. Please feel free to call me.
