Brother and Husband Feud

My husband is very demanding in his relationships. He and my brother were once very close. Then he got angry and said my brother was rude for not inviting him to something. Now he refuses to see him. I want to get the families together, but my husband won’t go. He says I shouldn’t either. He wants an apology and thinks I should talk to my brother. Should I?

Getting in the middle of the relationship between your husband and brother may further complicate the situation. The two men must learn to negotiate independently and address disagreements between themselves. Otherwise, you may find yourself in the position of mediator for any future disputes which could serve to prolong their inability to communicate and work out their differences.

Perhaps you feel that your husband is demanding that you fix this problem. If you comply with his request to intervene, such action could backfire, draw you into the argument, and ultimately create a problem between you and your brother. Your husband must express his dissatisfaction directly to your brother. It is not your responsibility to resolve this conflict. If you do, your husband may expect you to rescue him from other similar situations.

I imagine you feel torn between a sense of loyalty to your husband and the lifelong relationship with your brother. You should not have to choose sides. If you wish to see your brother’s family then do so. The more neutral you remain, the more likely your husband and brother will settle this on their own.