Colicky Baby

I just had a baby and I’m overwhelmed. First I was excited– now I’m just exhausted and anxious. I hardly sleep. My baby has colic and cries constantly. Anywhere I am, people tell me why he’s crying and what I should do. It drives me crazy, but then I think maybe they’re right and I’m just ineffective because I can’t make it better. Will I ever know what he needs?

Adjusting to the demands of motherhood is challenging on so many levels. Physically your body is adjusting post-birth while sleep deprivation and drastically fluctuating hormones wreak havoc with your emotions. All of this is happening as you simultaneously adapt to this new reality where your life is no longer your own.

Many new mothers who have struggled with a wailing infant in public have received unsolicited advice from well meaning, random “sidewalk baby experts.” These suggestions and “sidewalk diagnoses” are not helpful because they are not based on knowledge specific to your baby and they only serve to increase your anxiety and sense of helplessness.

An inconsolable infant can quickly wear down a new mother’s self confidence and stamina. It is important to remember that no one knows your baby as well as you. Mother’s have an innate instinct to identify their baby’s needs. In the early stages of bonding, as mother and baby are getting acquainted they begin to develop their own unique communication. It is through this deep connection and understanding that the mother develops a keen attunement for her baby. Such intuition helps her recognize what the baby is communicating. Even so, there still may be times when you cannot determine the meaning of your baby’s cries. Keep in mind that your attempts to soothe his distress are never pointless. The comforting you provide gives him a feeling of security that you care and are there for him, even if it does not directly relieve his distress. Over time, your baby will take in the comfort he gets from you and learn to soothe himself as he matures.